28 Oct TSLH #043: 2 Behaviors To Lead By Example
Posted at 06:00h
in Newsletter
Read time: 4 minutes
Over the course of my 25+ year long career, I worked with and saw hundreds of leaders in multiple companies, countries, and teams.
Some were exceptional leaders, others were good and strong leaders, and still some were bad leaders.
What I saw is that the ONE and only thing that really set apart the exceptional and strong leaders from the bad ones is this:
Exceptional/strong leaders lead by example. Period.
Leading by example is also described sometimes as modeling the way, and this is really the same thing. At its core, it means the behaviors a leader displays to authentically embrace and show their values to the people surrounding them – their team, peers, managers, stakeholders.
And there are 2 of these behaviors that are absolutely critical.
Clarifying values. Your values are your compass, what you consider your moral obligations and commitment to others so that you feel your life and work are fulfilled, and you lead in a model that resonates fully with who you really are and want to be as a leader.
There are several ways to identify your values if you have never taken a look at them. Working with a coach is a good way to identify them and work on them. You can also do a few exercises alone to identify them.
For instance think of a peak experience of yours, at work or in life, where you were at your best and felt really fulfilled. Once you have this experience in mind, write down anything that comes to mind that made that experience a peak experience for you. Whatever you find here is very likely a value that you have.
Likewise, think of a setback or a situation where you got disappointed by an outcome or by people. Think about what it is that was missing in that event that made the experience disappointing. Anything that was missing for you is also likely to be a value of yours.
Once you are clear on your values and which ones matter to you the most in your leadership role, you first need to communicate them to your team, your manager, your peers, and your stakeholders. You must be very clear what values are your compass to make decisions, what values are your big red lines not to cross, and what values you expect for instance people on your team to share so that the team is engaged, collaborative and accountable.
A quick note here: Identifying your value is the first step only, although a very important one. You should keep in mind that for you to succeed in your leadership role, you should also understand what the shared values of your team are, and make sure that these values that you all agree on together are then upheld. The team should be made accountable for that.
Setting the example. Once you have been crystal clear on what your values are, then you need to lead by example. This means that you must demonstrate the values you say matter to you and the matter on a daily basis. You need to show your values in how you talk, how you make decisions, how you take action, how you behave.
Doing this will create one thing for you: Credibility.
Without credibility, you won’t have people on your team following you. Instead, they will be disengaged, demotivating, not accountable.
This is what credibility will do for you:
- People will be proud to be on the team and will let others know.
- There will be a strong feeling of team cohesion.
- People on the team will exemplify the shared values because they see you, the leader, set the example.
- People will trust you because you are telling them how you will lead, and they see that you do what you say you will do.
Don’t underestimate the power of the credibility you can build. Credibility also gives you an edge in crisis situations, when you need to ask more from your team or other co-workers. Because you will have built credibility and trust, people will respond more favorably to extreme demands in times of crisis. This will for sure erode your credibility a bit, but this will get you through the crisis.
Also consider what not having credibility means for you as a leader:
- People will be only minimally productive, only delivering what is expected of them, but not more.
- People will gossip, creating a toxic environment within the team.
- People will look for other jobs.
- People won’t be engaged nor accountable, because they won’t feel supported by you, the leader.
Clarifying values and setting the example. That’s it. That’s all you need to create credibility and strong authentic leadership. It seems fairly easy to do, and to be honest, it is fairly easy to do if you start with being more self-aware of your values.
Now, here are 6 actions you can start NOW and that will help you lead by example and create strong credibility for you as a leader. Practice them daily, ask for feedback about how you fare with these. Take them one at a time if you need, and once you master it, go to the next one. Most importantly, have fun with the process:
- If you want people to behave in a certain way, you must set the example yourself and behave exactly the way you expect people to.
- You need to get full adhesion to your values and those of the team so that everyone on the team can be held accountable to these values. The easiest way to do this is to write down the values as a document and have every single person on the team sign it.
- Don’t be like politicians who go by the motto “Do as I say, not as I do”. Instead go by the motto “I will do what I say I will”, meaning that you must deliver on your promises and commitments.
- Be honest and self-aware with yourself and ask regular feedback about how you fare and whether you keep true to your commitments. Myself, I ask feedback from the people on my team and from stakeholders twice a year.
- Gather your team in a meeting, explain your values to them, and then work with them on their values and what values the team wants to share. This will be your best avenue to create accountability on the shared values of the team.
- Start with working on your values and be crystal clear about what kind of leader you want to be. Once you’re clear about this, communicate and stay on course.
Every leader will need time to learn to lead by example. This is especially true if you have never reflected seriously on your values. What I am saying is that through practice, you can improve significantly and become a leader that leads by example. The process is fairly easy to follow. Don’t shy away. You can take action NOW and become the version of the leader you’d like to.
I wish you a great read. I’ll see you next Saturday!
TL; DR (Too Long, Did not Read)
2 behaviors to lead by example
- Clarifying values.
- Setting the example.
Whenever you’re ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:
1️⃣ Work 1-1 with me to step up as the authentic leader you aspire to be.
2️⃣ Hire me to help you build a high-performing team.
3️⃣ Start with my affordable digital courses on Mastering Difficult Conversations for Leaders and Goal Setting