I received one of my greatest leadership lessons early in my career from my then-boss.

He told me “Good leadership is about being consistent in how you act. You must define what you will compromise on and what you will not compromise on early, set expectations with your team and other stakeholders, and from then on, stay consistent with these rules.”

Easier said than done I thought! To be frank, I did not really realize what he meant until I was faced myself with a situation:

In one of my previous roles, I stepped in as a new manager for a team, to replace the former manager, Simon, who had resigned. When I started meeting with my direct reports and asking them “what do you need from me?”, their feedback was a resounding and unanimous “I need someone to stick to decisions made and not change a decision or their mind every other day!” I then discovered that Simon had a (very) bad habit of agreeing to something in front of his team, e.g., “we will not agree to processing contracts that come in after the deadline”, only to renege on his word at the first occasion where he would be asked for an exception by a sales guy. This lack of consistency and steady habit of saying “yes” to everything that was asked of him cost huge frustration in the team, lack of trust for Simon, significant overwork, and ultimately took a huge toll on the team performance through demotivation, high attrition, and constant finger-pointing and conflict between Simon and the people on his team.

This was a nasty spot to be in as the new team leader. And it is at that moment that my former manager’s words ticked in for good. Starting with that role, and over the years, I have created that consistency in how I lead – or at least got much nearer to it – by going through the process I describe below.

1. Define values I do not want to compromise on. As a finance guy, some values are easy picks: Compliance, ethics for instance. Throughout my career, I also found the following values to resonate highly with me: Integrity, honesty, credibility, trust, respect for others, openness to diversity, fun.

There could be many more values. In the end, this needs to be a manageable list for you, lest you end up most days with terrible headaches!

The starting point of all this though – especially if you are unclear on the values you do not want to compromise on – is to take some time for yourself, alone, possibly with a coach and engage in deep self-reflection about what values resonate with you.

If you want to take a quick stab at this exercise, do one of those two things:

• Think about a peak experience in life or at work and then ask yourself: What made that experience a peak one for you? What values were you living when that peak experience happened? How did you feel?
• Ask yourself what people constantly say about you when asked for your top strength or behavior: Their answer will most likely direct you to something that matters to you, that is of value to you.

What values came to you? Are these values you do not want to compromise with at work? If so, write them down.

2. Set expectations with my team and other stakeholders. This is the part where I walk the talk essentially and let everyone know what values or things I will not compromise on. This can be done in several ways.

Within my team, for my direct interactions with the people on the team, I will clearly explain what I expect from anyone in the team.

For the team as a whole though, I will not impose my values. Instead, I will meet with my direct reports or the entire team – it really depends on the size of the team – and we will discuss, as a team, what values are so important to us that we do not want to compromise on them. Ideally, the team would then make these values part of a placemat, a poster that we will make available to other teams for instance.

With other stakeholders, my view is that I must be more directive. Either initially when I take on a new role, or anytime I estimate I need to reexplain the values I will not compromise on, I will meet with people and explain what matters to me as a leader. If I come to talk to another team or their leader about a specific case that happened, I will explain why I will not make a certain decision because it will go against one of these values I do not want to compromise on.

3. Apply a consistent process to analyze situations before deciding if I should compromise or not. This is a 4-step process that also allows to be tough when needed, without breaking relationships:

1. Focus on hard facts first. Decompose the situation into real factual elements

2. Understand what problem the team or someone is trying to solve, possibly in their own words, not through someone in the middle

3. Have clear rules about what needs to be or what can or cannot be

4. Stay flexible within these rules by creating a corridor where you will compromise for the benefit of all parties; be inflexible when reaching boundaries of that corridor

By applying that same process consistently, I can achieve 2 things:

• I bring credibility to my actions, because I always treat the same situation the same way. At times – conveniently – I also get the protection of using the rules.
• By keeping the corridor wide enough within the rule, I keep positive relationships with people even when I have to say no. If the discussion gets tough, and I need to make a call, it’s easier to make it when relationships are good. And because I will have made my homework of explaining why I will not compromise on a specific value, people accept the decision being made.

Now, if I revert back to my original real-life example, where Simon had initially agreed to not process any contract after the deadline and then did ask his team to process contracts after the said deadline, this is how I would have handled the situation using the process above:

1. I would have clarified the topic with sales: For instance, what is the urgency here? How diligent have you been in informing us that this is coming? How critical is that contract for the quarter? for the project team (i.e., do they need to start working now?)

2. Based on some of the answers above, I would have weighted the ask from sales with the values I do not compromise on and the rules of what should be done or not done. For instance, one of the values I do not want to compromise on is respect of others. Now, if it turns out the contract must be processed after the deadline because the salesperson sat on it for weeks, then his ask is not respectful of the time and work of people on my team. In that case, I may tell him “sorry, you knew it was coming, you just sat on it and now it is urgent. How is that fair to the person on my team now?”

3. In other cases, I may stay flexible and keep the corridor broader to allow for the contract to still be processed. Maybe because this is the biggest contract in the quarter for the company. Maybe the client needs urgent delivery. In these cases, I will (i) ensure my team is onboard with the extra work, and possibly I’ll support them to reset other priorities, and (ii) I will make it clear that this is agreed as an exception, and it is not becoming the rule.

If I follow this process, chances are my team will stay committed because they will have had a say in the decision, and they will get my support to ensure that the ask remains fair to them and the team. Also, I will have stayed true to my values as I will have clearly set the expectation that I am flexible because of reason x and y, but this should not be regarded as the new norm. In the end, to paraphrase another of the leaders I have worked with in the past, I will have a decision that is “fair for the employee, fair for the client, fair for the company”.

Note here that I am not suggesting saying “I do not compromise on such and such values” is the same as being inflexible or intransigent. You certainly do not want to be seen as arrogant or full of hubris.

On the contrary, as a leader, you should always remain open to others’ perspectives, opinions, ideas. By all means, any idea is good to hear; weighing options and possibilities for what you are asked to do shows you are flexible, and you are a good listener. And in the end, what you learn from others’ ideas and opinions is always helping you grow.

At the same time, doing whatever anyone else wants of you or saying yes to everything that comes along is simply weak and ill-considered. You must know why you say yes and no and how each decision reflects your values. This is how you will decide to compromise or not.

Let me know how creating consistency as a leader has looked like for you. What were challenges you faced? What did you implement to stay true to your values?

For comments or questions, please visit my website or contact me at pascal@p-m-coaching.com